Every Monday morning I’m in a state of shock. I’m shocked that I have to wake up. Shocked that I have to get out of bed. I’m offended that I have to function at any hour that doesn’t end in pm and it’s alarming that I am expected to take care of another human. Since Matt continues to deny my requests to stay home and help me, I’m forced to stumble around and figure everything out on my own.
Today was cold and rainy and I woke up feverish and that was extra shocking for me. Mabel tracked mud on my new white rug and that was especially offensive to me. Mills and I had a rough go at it right from the start. He was “fixing my hair” with strawberry jelly while I was “pretending” to take a nap. He kept switching out his Elmo phone for my iphone and hiding mine in the refrigerator.
While trying to get ready, he simply would not accept that he couldn’t brush his teeth with syrup. Exasperated I said, “Ugh, Mills! Just because!”
And then. He looked at me with those enormous liquidy brown eyes and said, “Can you just be patient at me, Mama?”
“Can you just be patient at me?”
How many times do I want to say that to people in my life? Can you just be patient at me when I forget to cook dinner? All week? Can you just be patient at me when I don’t call you back over and over and over? When I cut you off in traffic because “Shake it Off” comes on and I start dancing? When I slip back into my old unhealthy habits and it’s really hard to love me? When I isolate for so long that it seems like I’ve abandoned you? When I forget to remember that God is good? Maybe you can just be patient at me.
Today I’m being patient at people. And tonight we are brushing our teeth with syrup.