the drop-off

I find myself a bit in awe lately at the lack of ability of many around me to complete the words they are saying. Actually, this appears to be somewhat of an epidemic that defies all odds.

In the not too distant past, I was in an email correspondence with an older friend who answered a question with the following word: “totes”.  After I realized she was not referring to a few purses, satchels, or any grouping of small-ish type of bags, I recognized what I now refer to as "word drop-off”.

This is linguistic harrassment and it is everywhere, people!

In case you are new to this vernacular as well, here is a quick run down of some of my faves. (yes. I just did it)

Totes: A shorter form of the word totally. This drop-off might be found in all places where a resounding, “yes” might go.

The most obvious advantage of using this word is the time saved.

Girl #1: I totes want to go to the mall because I totes need to buy some make up.

Girl #2: Totes! I totes need some too, so I'll totes go with you!

Girl #3: OH EM GEE! You guys are totes my BFF! I’ll come with!

(Girl #3 is unnecessary in this example.)

(So is using the word totes. Ever.)

Obvs: Short for 'obviously.'

When paired with totes, one finds the time needed to spend talking/texting is drastically pared down.  This frees up valuable time likely used to read literature or study the arts.

Ex #1:"She obvs failed miserably."

Ex #2:"Hey are you going to hang out with us tomorrow?" “Um, obvs!”

**See also: Obvi. These two may be used interchangeably. 

Presh: The drop-off way to articulate that something is precious.

Be forewarned.  The usage of this particular drop-off has caused an adverse health reaction in many sensible people. (put quite simply: use at your own risk- you might throw up in your mouth.)

Ex #1: “OH EM GEEE that sweater is so presh!”

Ex #2: “Awww! That baby is so presh!"

Do you use drop-offs?  Do your friends? It's totes disturbing, isn't it?

the first one

Each morning before the Pharmacist heads off for work I exclaim, "This is it! I am starting my blog today! I mean it this time!" (and, yes, I speak with an exclamation point behind each sentence.) Each day, the Pharmacist kindly nods his head, gulps down his coffee and grins at me with a twinkle in his eye. This is one complex twinkle. I'll give you an outline:

A)UM, honey, you have been saying that for two years now. (literally...two years). I've lost, gained back and lost my weight loss goals in that amount of time and haven't seen one meager post.
B)I love your enthusiasm for life and the fact that you have no recollection of saying this and not succeeding the day before, or the day before that, or the day before that.
C)I believe in you.

It is because of C that I love this man of mine. (and possibly that I've been on a two year procrastination binge.) Won't he be surprised? Shall I tell him? Or just wait until he's drinking his coffee and spring it on him? Then he might choke and coffee might come out his nose and get on his pharmacist tie. Yes, I am definitely waiting.