March 10, 2015

confession from an "auntie litter" parade drop out

Recently, Matt began a recycling initiative in our house.  This falls under the category of “things I cannot handle”, but apparently recycling is a passion of his and so, whatever… we’ll do it YOUR way!

I have been reprimanded many times since we came under the new law.  It seems that my idea of recyclable goods does not meet his standards.

I heard the familiar crunch of container on cement as he hauled the can up our driveway tonight.  Mr. Eco-friendly came thudding into the kitchen and glared at me.

“You are BANNED from the recycling bin, Amanda.  I mean it!  You may not put anything in it, or even TOUCH IT ANYMORE!”

First of all, I really thought he was going to say “BANNED from s-h-o-p-p-i-n-g”, so I was instantly relieved.  And also? I hate recycling.  I win.  But, I don’t like to be told I can’t do something, so I pressed in.

“What? I’ve been following all your ridiculous sorting policies! Seriously!”

“An ENTIRE CANDLE does not go in the recycling bin!”

Shocked, I began to laugh.   “Are you KIDDING ME? Do you know how many things you can make with melted wax?  Clearly you have never done any sort of craft, ever.”

“Neither have the people at the recycling plant, babe.”

There were other violations cited.  Not to be missed- food, unwanted clothing and Styrofoam. 

So…..I don’t know WHAT kind of system you people have in place… but I see some serious room for improvement.

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